Comic Talk and General Discussion

What I learned as an adult
ozoneocean at 3:31AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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This is surely a fantastic thread title? No? Yes?
Definitely yes!
Here are mine. Feel free to do your own.
 
Things I've learned:
- Sunscreen is really, really great.
 
- Old timers and experts really DO know what they're talking about. Listen to them. You learn a LOT.
 
- There are a lot of fake experts out there who're full of shit.
 
- Organic food is not better for you.
 
- Sitting around all day doing artwork is bad for your body.
 
- Doing taxes is painful, but you can get through it and it's not as bad as a dentist vist. Well maybe about the same.
 
- New pop-music gets worse as you age while older music gets beter. There's always good new music being made, but the current pop hits will seem shittier and shittier.
 
- Everyone gets old, everyone dies, kids grow up and have babies. Life keeps going on.
 
- You can laugh and laugh at the health problems and vicissitudes of age, but all of that will happen to you too eventually, no one is immune.
 
- The things you say aren't as dumb or as embarrassing as you think they are. You don't sound or act as dorky as you think you do.
 
- No one else cares about your bad hair days or your zits or any of the other trivial body things you think are SO important.
 
- Follow up on oportunities, they may never come again. Call people back, reply to emails and texts.
 
- Be as nice and friendly as you can to people.
 
kawaiidaigakusei at 5:07AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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I learned that the love of money is the root of all evil.



I learned to build bridges

                                                     …and get over it.


I learned how to let go

                                                    …and not look back.


I learned how to stand on my own

                                                    …and be happy.
P
bravo1102 at 6:08AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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-It's okay to be wrong and even better to admit it.
-You can cope with anything.  All it requires is a general calm and the faith you'll get through this. You're stronger than you think.
-Have faith in yourself, not a deity. When you think it's a deity helping you, it really just you helping yourself.
-The only thing you should take seriously is the fact that nothing is to be taken seriously. 
-Words mean things and you better be sure everyone agrees on what they mean before you go spouting off.
-You really don't know as much as you think you do. But you're the only one who knows that and everyone else thinks they know-it-all. Let them fail, it may take a few decades but they'll learn.
-Patience, patience, patience. Don't get angry, express your needs and feelings and you'll often get your way or at least reach a workable compromise.
-I am an incredibly selfish and stubborn person. But that's okay because I am the most importnt person in my life and I got to look out for me.
-One calm rebuke using an “I” statement is worth a multitude of screams and rants and raves. 
-You can't fix stupid. You have to work around it.
-Keep it short and simple.
-FIDO Fuck it, drive on.
-Most people have no idea what they are talking about, but it's not your job to point out every mistake because more often than not you're guessing too. Sure your guess might be better thought out and more educated than theirs but it's still a guess.
-Language is a tool and even profanity has it's uses but not everything needs to be pounded with a sledgehammer.
last edited on Jan. 7, 2015 6:11AM
Kroatz at 8:33AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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'What I learned as an adult' is indeed one of the greatest thread titles ever. I guess that I've learned a few things, even though I don't always behave like an adult. I guess most of the things I have to add are about the differences between childhood and adulthood. - Responsibilities are almost always a bad thing.- Emotions and feelings get weaker as time goes on.- Sex and affection become less Icky.- Days are shorter than you think.- Everything you have is worthless.- Books are better than TV.- Nobody ever thinks about you.- Shaving is not as much fun as you expect.- Everyone is stupid, most of all me.- Helping people is always worth the time. I'd really like to know the details of some of the things that Kawaii, Ozzy, or Bravo said. What is the secret of hapiness, Kawaii? And tell me the gruesome details that led to the conclusion that organic food is not better for you, Ozoneocean. And most of all, Bravo, what exactly are you copulating with, before driving on?
The feeling you get, right before you poop.
That's the best feeling in the world.

- Albert Einstein
last edited on Jan. 7, 2015 10:49AM
bravo1102 at 9:19AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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Kroatz wrote:
Bravo, what exactly are you copukating with, before driving on?
A messed up situation, usually not to your liking, that you have no control over.  In essense acknowledging you have no control of the situation and cannot change it. You therefor resolve to continue pursuing your objectives in spite of the messed up circumstances you find yourself in.

FIDO. Of course in a situaiton such as this you do not have the luxury of discoursing at leangth about such trivialities so you just say FIDO and continue the mission.  Move fast, strike hard and don't overthink it.

- Don't overthink a situation. A corollary of keep it short and simple. A lot of things don't need detailed anylsis or perversely long-winded explanations.  The simplest explanation is often the most accurate and even if it isn't sometimes it's the one that works best in the situation.
KimLuster at 9:22AM, Jan. 7, 2015
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Indeed, very good thread title and topic!!
What I've learned as an adult…
- You're never too old to act like a kid about things that bring you joy…
- You have to stop acting like a kid about things involving responsibility (jobs, paying taxes, providing for your own kids…)
- To finally stop letting emotion trump logic every - single - time…
- That lying to one's self, while so easy to do, always causes more pain in the end…
- There's always - ALWAYS - another side to an argument…
- To not trust religious people who claim to know God's will…
- That having faith in something doesn't make you an idiot (as long as it isn't blind faith)…
- To not trust science-types who claim they know exactly how the universe works…
- That having faith in nothing doesn't make you smarter (or cool)…
- That just about anything can be doubted…
- That you have to take a stand on some things anyway to ever do anything…
- That procrastination can last years…
- That talking is much easier than doing…
- That knowing is much easer than applying (is this the same as above…?)…
- That even your closest friends and loved ones can hurt you terribly…
- That no one is perfect, and no relationship can function without a willingness to forgive…
- That you can do, eat, drink pretty much anything you want, just never do too much of it…
- Your kids are gonna make the same mistakes you did, no matter how much wisdom you impart to them…
- Your kids will never stop surprising you (in both good and bad ways)…
- You can't go more than two or three weeks without some sort of crisis rearing its head…
- Every crisis, even the soul-wrenching ones, are survivable…
- Your husband/wife should also be your best friend (with benefits of course)…

Oh God, I could go on forever…  
HippieVan at 2:54PM, Jan. 7, 2015
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I've only qualified as an “adult” for like 3.5 years, so my list is pretty short at this point.
 
- My most important one is kind of specific to people with panic disorder and the like, but I think it still counts. I learned (mostly through CBT) that the sources of anxiety are largely internal, not external. I will have moments of anxiety regardless of where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, and so on - staying at home all the time will not make me immune from anxiety. This is awesome, because it means that I can do whatever I like without fear of fear.
 
- I'm not just a brain. Or rather, my brain is attached to my body. I have to take care of my physical body by eating well, exercising, taking the time to dress myself nicely, etc., or my mental health will suffer.
 
- The people you spend time with affect your personality. I guess I learned this one as a teen, technically, when I “broke up” with my best friend at around 16-17. She was a very unhappy, judgemental person (she might be lovely now, I have no idea) and after I stopped hanging out with her I realized how much her attitude had rubbed off on me. I became a different person practically overnight by my family's account.
 
- If you want things, you have to seek them out. As a relatively bright student, throughout middle school and high school opportunities just kind of dropped into my lap most of the time. While that still happens occasionally (like my first job as a research assistant thanks to an awesome prof!), I'm finding that as an adult I have to actually put myself out there a lot more.
 
- Don't date guys just because they have nice cheekbones. I will probably continue to make this mistake.
 
- I'm hope the next thing I learn is how to write an essay that isn't twice as long as it needs to be, because that would save me a heck of a lot of time and editing.
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
Genejoke at 3:34PM, Jan. 8, 2015
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…
KimLuster at 5:01PM, Jan. 8, 2015
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@genejoke: lol… as I was reading I thought… this should be set to music…!  Then I kept reading and it finally hit me haha… good form!!
usedbooks at 5:03PM, Jan. 8, 2015
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Doing taxes is easy when you have no money. One part time job with no spouse, dependents, or property makes for a pretty simple form.
 
Higher education is overrated. It makes the difference between the part-timers and the part-timers with massive debt.
 
No. You aren't special. The positive side of that is you aren't alone.
 
You don't need to be in a relationship. Not everyone is. Happiness and love take many forms.
 
Drink water. Lots of water.
 
Facebook will show you the insane obsessive side of every person you know. Beware.
 
If something or someone doesn't bring you joy, leave it behind.
 
The loudest and most vocal members of any group are the craziest and do not represent the group.
maskdt at 8:56PM, Jan. 19, 2015
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-While you can't control the world around you, you are the only person responsible for how you react to it. Not society. Not your parents. You.
-You are never so helpless that you can't find some way to make yourself happy. If the quadrapalegics I spent my summer with can find something to laugh about every day, you can find something to do that will make your day or your situation less crappy.
-It's okay to have bad days, but dwelling on the bad stuff in your life is just going to make you miserable. I actually watched a woman just give up in the hospital because a stroke had affected the use of one of her arms and one of her legs. She very likely could have gotten strong enough to walk again, but she just didn't have the willpower to do what she needed to. I also met a man who didn't give up, and went from only being able to move his eyes and his jaw to being able to use a wheelchair and walk for a few steps.
-Naps are amazing.
-You're probably the only person who remembers those oh-so-embarassing incidents you've had.
-Change is the only constant in life. If you're having a crappy day, remember that things are going to change sooner or later. If you're having a great day, take mental snapshots of it so you can enjoy those great moments again and again.
-Everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day; some people just use those 24 hours more wisely than others.
-You can't change the past, and tomorrow is going to come regardless of anything that happens, so why worry yourself sick about both? Right now is the only part of the entire scope of time you have any real say in.
last edited on Jan. 19, 2015 8:57PM
ozoneocean at 11:51PM, Jan. 19, 2015
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That's some pretty solid stuff maskdt! :D
 
maskdt at 11:16AM, Jan. 20, 2015
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ozoneocean wrote:
That's some pretty solid stuff maskdt! :D
Heh. I just had a lot of time to think and read over the summer. While I wouldn't wish what happened to me (polymyositis in a rare, fast-acting form) on anyone, I'm actually very grateful for the unexpected gifts that came with it. Nothing helps you get your priorities in order quite like life forcing you to slow way the hell down.
ozoneocean at 8:41PM, Jan. 20, 2015
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Just read about polymyositi. Sounds nasty.
 
maskdt at 9:46PM, Jan. 20, 2015
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ozoneocean wrote:
Just read about polymyositi. Sounds nasty.
It is. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am extremely grateful that this is the 21st century and I live in a country where the treatment for it is readily available. If I'd been born even just 50 years ago and came down with this, there's a good chance I would have met with a very Gothic novel-esque end by now. Which would be terrible. And my fiance would be obligated to go insane with grief in some mansion on some dramatic seaside cliff somewhere.
El Cid at 5:39AM, Jan. 21, 2015
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- Fear of failure is worse than failure itself. Don't be paralyzed into not doing something because you think you won't succeed.
 
- Canadian bacon isn't really bacon, I don't care what anybody says.
 
- Life rewards achievement, not effort. It doesn't matter how hard you work if you never accomplish anything.
 
- Never go “number two” at a gas station restroom. Just not worth it.
PIT_FACE at 6:45AM, Jan. 22, 2015
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I've learned that alot of people that you assume know what they're talking about, actually have no idea what the hell they're talking about, so be autonomous. No matter how well something is said by someone else or how easy it is to follow others, at the end of the day YOU are responsible for what you do, and no one else. Grab your balls with BOTH hands and dont let go, son. Dont let go.
ozoneocean at 7:53PM, Jan. 22, 2015
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Pit, the truth is you just like holding testicles. AmIright? ;)
 
Kroatz at 9:28AM, Jan. 23, 2015
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Who doesn't?
The feeling you get, right before you poop.
That's the best feeling in the world.

- Albert Einstein
bravo1102 at 3:51PM, Jan. 23, 2015
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Kroatz wrote:
Who doesn't?
The guy with the hernia, torn aductor, strained crotch and epididymal cysts. Ever get a testicular MRI or ultrasound? You'll never want to have your sack touched EVER again.
ozoneocean at 7:33PM, Jan. 23, 2015
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But you WISH you could, amiright? :D
 
bravo1102 at 1:51PM, Jan. 24, 2015
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ozoneocean wrote:
But you WISH you could, amiright? :D
When one has all those problems health care professionals put on gloves and man-handle it all the time.  Isn't it time for your prostate exam?
ayesinback at 10:28AM, Jan. 26, 2015
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Yes!  nice thread/title, Ozoneocean!  Here are some of my touchstones, learned at various points, but which have lasted into adulthood
 
There are always choices, including the choice of not choosing
 
That there is a spectrum for everything, and we're each on every spectrum, at some, usually non-static, point
 
Not trying is the biggest fail
 
Admitting failure after trying one's best opens new doors
 
Know the difference between attempting and committing. Promise only that which you will do everything in your power to complete
 
When in doubt, be generous
 
Distract yourself from worry; worry serves only as mini deaths through life
 
That how you see yourself will inform how you see others (rather an addendum to the Golden Rule, which is golden for a reason)
 
Everyone is an ass at some time, including yourself.  Let it go.
 
Smiles have power, and laughter is magical
 
Always have a project and, at least once a year, finish a project
 
That if you can't leave it as you found it, then leave it better
 
Don't get into a pissing contest with a skunk (wisdom from my Dad)
 
That life is change
 
Why me, we might ask of ourselves. Answer: Why not me.
 
      and, certainly, use that sunscreen (and hats for those who are follicly-challenged)
You TOO can be (multiple choice)
last edited on Jan. 26, 2015 10:43AM
Lonnehart at 3:56AM, Jan. 27, 2015
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This thread is a good read.  I can't offer much to it (everything's been said already).  Oh, well…


A few things I've learned…

When people tell you you can rely on them, don't take their word for it.

Sometimes when the chips are down, you're the only person you can depend on.

Go wherever you like.  Just don't forget where you came from.

To help others, you need to help yourself first.

Not everyone is meant to have a partner in life.

Oh… and…

When negotiating with a person who is stronger than you, extend one hand in friendship.  And keep a gun in the other hand (learned from Mass Effect 2)…
bravo1102 at 3:38PM, Jan. 28, 2015
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There are some who can do anything and get kudoes heaped upon them and there are others that nothing they ever do will be recognized.  Gripe, bitch and moan all you want but the fucks will just dig in deeper.

Some people just have to show up to get heaps of praise and recognition, others kill themselves with work and won't get anything no matter how hard they try. This is called equal oppurtunity.

Challenging belief systems is well nigh impossible. The more vigorously you prove how wrong-headed it is the more they will cling to their foolishness and  rather than create new ways to defend it just repeat the old one louder.

The capacity for human stupidity is infinite.  Invent a better and easier way to do things and they will invent a better idiot. 

The best laid plans of mice and men are often fucked up by some stupid asshole.

The best thing to have faith in is you. Deities help those who help themselves.
bravo1102 at 3:52PM, Jan. 28, 2015
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You have two ears and one mouth therefore you should listen twice as much as you speak.

Older people actually know stuff and it is the duty of the young to not believe them so they learn stuff for themselves.

The reason why the young are so “know-it-all” is so the old can get them to prove it by doing dangerous stuff the old are smart enough not to do anymore. 

Darwin was right.  

Common sense is not so common. 
last edited on Jan. 28, 2015 3:54PM
ozoneocean at 10:32PM, Jan. 28, 2015
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There are no “higher” parts of your awareness or conciousness, and unless you're starting out with repairable brain damage, you can't expand it. Your awareness of the world is very finite. The interesting experiences you get on any sort of substance is a case of subtraction , not addition, like the lovey colours you get when you break you computer monitor: that stuff is always there but doesn't show up unless something isn't working correctly.
 
Things will never really make you happy, neither will other people, money, travel, situations or experiences. Happiness comes from yourself, it comes for how you react and respond to things, it's something that happens inside your own brain.
 
Everything in the world is fleeting, nothing is permenant, everything changes: the apearence of any person is only a momentary snapshot in time, they didn't look the same way 5 years ago, 5 hours ago or 5 minutes ago and will change as much or more the same amount of time into the future, as will everything.


Always try to understand the world from different people's perspectives, even if you hate them and find them completely unreasonable. Search for ways in which what they're saying does make sense, if at all possible, to try and help you understand where they're coming from. Look at repellant points of view from the other side. You'll be able to know more trully whether you really disagree with it or not and if so you're far better equiped to argue convincingly against it.


 
 
last edited on Jan. 28, 2015 10:34PM
KimLuster at 10:43AM, Jan. 29, 2015
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I enjoy reading all these posts, and it seems like a lot of us have learned… ALOT!!  Lots of mature pespectives on life, possessions, love, mind, contemplating the cosmos.  I gave a bunch of it myself in my earlier post… :)
.
 Oh…. but the wisdom to use it…!  For, I've also learned a sad truth; that we way too often don't adhere to or follow all this great sounding stuff in our day-to-day lives, even when we know better…
.
When my waterheater broke and flooded the house I bitched, whined , and pouted just as I would've when I was a teenager, even though it's just a possession and it's just money.  I yelled at the heavens, knowing the whole time the heavens won't answer back…  And I feel bad that I acted so undignified, but I no doubt will again next time something like that happens :D
.
I find myself wishing the weekends would get here all too fast, and I don't think about how it's time I'll never get back (the only resource we can't recover).  I don't visits my parents nearly enough, and when they're gone I'll be all too aware of that fact… THEN!  
.
I really do like threads like this, because it makes me stop and think about all the things I say I've learned and I think, maybe, I'll actually act as wise as I sound… finally…  I just hope I think about them when it matters…
.
I really am wiser on some things (relationships :) that I used to be, but still, not nearly enough.  Knowledge and Wisdom aren't the same thing.  I KNOW so much more… but sometime, if you saw me in action, you'd never know it ;)  
.
Maybe I shouldn't have posted on such a gloomy Winter day. (time for another ironic smiley) :D
ayesinback at 1:21PM, Jan. 29, 2015
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@KimLuster - so spot on!  Although comparing your reaction to the ramifications of a flood to a teenager's frustration doesn't seem quite fair.  You may have only lost things, but it takes time to make sufficient money to replace those things, and some things are irreplaceable and you may not have been ready to say goodbye to them.  Knowing more is usually from experiencing more, and those aggregates can produce higher highs and lower lows.  Wisdom isn't peace – it means making the best of a situation, and if it's whining instead of erupting, well then.
 
But the years can and do shape our behavior.  For example, I have adapted my behavior for the better in that I'm slower to react to slurs and idiotic remarks, etc.  I was notoriously too reactive when I was young, and having a slower reaction time provides the other that much more time to apologize or self-correct because they might have been acting too quickly themselves.  What should have been nothing remains nothing because I didn't inflame a situation.
 
Unfortunately I don't think it's because I'm wiser.  Just deplorably sleep-deprived. 
 
So maybe I'm not wiser, but what I really like about being older is that I'm very comfortable with my sense of humor; THAT has taken some crafting to get it where it's mine and not just a reflection of what's current, acceptable, or otherwise.  It was very hard for me to say there was anything about myself that I liked when I was young, and I really hope that's just a me-thing and not a young-thing.
You TOO can be (multiple choice)
KimLuster at 4:02PM, Jan. 29, 2015
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@ayesinback:  Haha you don't know just how bad I acted about that water heater (a tantrum rather like a teen would throw ;)  but I appreciate the sentiment!  I've gotten over it faster than I would've when I was a little younger, though!  See… Me, Wiser! :D

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